When it comes to gamer guys, they are definitely in abundance. So your chances of dating or marrying a gamer are pretty high. There are many different types. There’s the casual gamer, the regular gamer, the extreme gamer, and the total nerd who takes it to a whole different level.
For some girls, this can be the most frustrating thing in the world. You might be the girl who wants to go to the mall, see a movie, or anything else BUT sit around and watch your guy play video games.
I started out like one of those girls. When I was about 17 (I am now 27), video games were a constant argument. “Why do you have to play video games all of the time?” “Why can’t we do something else?” “Why won’t you just spend time with me!”
Finally, one day, I had a revelation. Why ruin a relationship with an argument over video games? I mean, honestly. There are bigger things you can argue about. If I wanted to spend time with my boyfriend, I needed to become interested in the things that he liked. It was as simple as that. That’s when I recruited my gamer brother.
“Teach me to play video games.” I pleaded.
Luckily for me, my brother was more than eager and a VERY patient teacher. He spent a ton of time playing video games with me. He pointed out what I was doing wrong and how I could improve. I went from wanting to throw the controller across the room to saying “Hey, this is kind of fun.” While my brother taught me the art of playing video games, I kept it a huge secret. One day, when I knew I was ready, I approached my boyfriend. “Let’s play Halo.” He stared at me like I had gone crazy. I don’t think he expected those words to ever come out of my mouth. Finally, he smiled and put in the game. He decided we would play against each other first so I could get use to the controller. Before he could do much, I ran over and killed him. He stopped and looked at me with his mouth wide open. That’s when I explained what I had been up to. The pure joy in his face that I did this for him was enough to make it all worth while. I also got to become the “coolest girlfriend ever”.
In the past few years, I had to learn to be that girl all over again. I quickly became a console gamer and loved every minute of it. However, my husband is a major computer gamer. When we were just friends, he played World of Warcraft like his life depended on it. He even told me that playing was like a job. I thought he was an idiot. In the best way possible, of course. He eventually gave up World of Warcraft to pursue a relationship with me. How sweet! Right?
Once we moved in together, he told me he really missed World of Warcraft. Those words made me practically have an anxiety attack. I knew how obsessive he was and I didn’t want him to become that person again. Finally, I agreed that he could play but only when I played. Yea. That lasted for maybe a week. He played so much and his gamer friends seemed to be more important than me. If we are being honest here, I thought we were going to break up over it. Hi, honey! Nothing like admitting personal information for everyone to read. I was being selfish, though. Here is what the problem was. I was TERRIBLE at W.o.W. He was impatient with me and would get frustrated. I eventually left his guild and joined a mostly girl guild. In that guild, there was one guy who worked with all of the girls and taught them how to be good. Finally, I took up his offer and let him teach me. A lot changed after that. My husband became a teeny tiny less obsessive. I was also a better player so I think he enjoyed playing with me more. I also realized that I didn’t need to play WITH him in the game.
Now, I honestly couldn’t imagine being with someone who wasn’t a gamer. Now I WANT to play video games from time to time and I would be sad if my significant other didn’t want to.
So what’s the moral of this story?
Girls, if you want your guys to be involved in your interests, you have to do the same in return. That means actually trying your hardest. It doesn’t mean you play one silly girly game and then expect things to get better. Your relationship isn’t all about you so stop acting like it. Sometimes you need to be the one to make the first move. Don’t be so stubborn. Once he sees you making a real effort, he might do the same thing. If he doesn’t though, why are you with him???
A few last words of wisdom.
- Find a patient teacher
- Don’t just learn to play. Learn to enjoy it. It makes a difference
- Tons of girls play video games these days. It’s not just for guys. Try finding another girl or a group of girls to play with every now and then. I’m also available to play. Send me a message if you’re interested. I have an Xbox360 and Xbox One. I also play World of Warcraft and Diablo III.